SHE’S THE ONLY DAUGHTER   OF MATTHEW AND RITA OF DES MOINES
GRADUATED WITH HONORS IN THE STARRING ROLE OF HER HOMETOWN A FUTURE GARBO
COME ON AND THROW YOUR CLOTHS ON GIRL   YOU’LL BE LATE FOR THE TRAIN
THE EXPRESS TO BROKEN DREAMS   BOUND FOR THE HEART OF HOLLYWOOD

PRETTY PEOPLE COME AND GO, THEY WRITE THE BOOKS, THEY MAKE THE EVENING NEWS
THE MODELS THEY’RE SO GLAMEROUS
THEY CLAMMOR JUST FOR A SPEAKING PART   NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE
YOU GOTTA TAKE YOUR CLOTHS OFF GIRL   IF YOU WANNA MAKE IT HERE
IS THAT WHAT JULIA ROBERTS DID   TO WIN THE HEART OF HOLLYWOOD
SHE WON THE HEART OF HOLLYWOOD
THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET A PART IN HOLLYWOOD

WILLIE MORRIS HE RING YOU UP   HE FLASH THE BUCK   HE HITS YOU UP FOR LOVE
A MILLION ASSHOLES IN DEVELOPMENT   WITHOUT A CENT   SELLIN’ DREAMS ON THE COME
DON’T LET THEM TAKE YOUR CLOTHS OFF   REMEMBER MR. HALEY’S SMILE
WHEN THE WIZARD SHOWED HIM HOW TO BE THE HEART OF HOLLYWOOD
DON’T GO AND CUT UP YOUR FACE    DON’T BLOW UP YOUR TITS FOR HOLLYWOOD
DON’T GO MARRY SOME BIG FAT OLD BASTARD PRODUCER IN HOLLYWOOD
DON’T SELL YOUR SWEET SOUL TO HOLLYWOOD
YOU’VE GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE THE HEART OF HOLLYWOOD